How we defeated Percy de Park Keeper and udder adbenshurs

Dis bees de news fwom ouw house today.  Littlest minihooman did hab a futborl match and mummy did say wud we wike to go and watch so wees did say yes ob cors we wud lubb to go and watch.  So wees all pile in de dogmobile and go to de futborl match and der is a bewwy big sine on de gate.  It does say NO DOGS ALLOWED.  So mummy goes hmmpfh how bewwy wude.

So wees go fow a wawk and daddy and littlest minihooman goes to futborl match.  Mummy says we got hour and a half so wees wawk for fwee kwarters hour and den turn bak.  Wee says dis bad idea, we no wikes tuwning bak.  Mees finking dis going to end in teers.  Bessie no wike tuwning bak, she does wike to wawk in a sirkul.

Anyway  mummy finks she noes best so we wawks.  We wawks down de stweet and den i do poos on de paff outside sumones house.  mummy say why yoo orways poo outside peeples gates?  I say i just needed poo and der i was.  she no unnerstand dough, she just wook at me wif dat embawassed face.  Den she pik up de bewwy stinky poo and wee take it wiff us.  Wulkily der bees a bin wiff a pikshur ob a dog doing a big steaming poo so she puts de smewwy bag in de bin.

Now is it just me or does ebberybodys mum make big fuss bout holding de bin wiff der sweeve and den dwopping bag of poo in bewwy kwikly and going gag wetch dis bin does stink weal bad.

Den a old wady did stop and stwoke us and say we bewwy coot.  so we does gib her our bestest coot smiwy fases.  She does wike ours smiwy fases.

Den we has a big pwobwem.  Mummy wants to wawk down Offahs Dyke Paff.  But der bees woads of kissing gates all de way down.  One mummy puwwing 2 bassets on weads fwough a kissing gate is a bewwy difficuwt opewashun.  It does take at weast 2 minits to get fwough each gate and der bees wots of dem.  By de end mummy going hab yoo gurls not wowked out how to get fwough deses gates wet?

Den by de time it is fwee kwarters of hour, mummy says we must turns bak now.  Me and Bessie we go no way, dis bad idea.  So we wuns bewwy fast to de next gate and we goes under de gate!  We fits.  Mummy bewwy cwoss cos we cud hab gon under de udder gates but we twied to skweeze fwough togebbeer ebbery time.  Den we hear did noise dat sounds wike minihoomans so we wuns to find de minihoomans so we can pway wiff dem.  Yoo nebber gess.  It was onwy our minihoomans futborl team on de udder side off de hedg.  We hab wawked in big sircul!  Me and Bessie was bewwy happy cos we no need to turn bak and we get to go in de pawk.  So we did!  We wunned in fwough de gate - dis a normal gate not a kissing gate.  And mummy has to wun in wiff us twying not to shout cos she no wont percy park keeper to sees us in his pweshus park.  Den we goes and sits by a bensh next to de udder gate so mummy can sit der too.  So she does cos she tiwed and we habs nise time watching de futborl and nobody did tell us off.

Minihoomans teem did woose 25 nil but we not awwoed to towk about dat.  Den we comed home.  Daddy cucked soup for de hoomans and mummy gave me and bessie a wasbewwy fwomarg fwais each.  Dems was dewishus, i fink daddy not impwessed cos we was wicking hims best spoons dough.